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Friday, October 21, 2016

The favor

The Minister of internal Affairs recently cited data based on the results of the work of the Ministry, that, in any area of our lives deep have their tentacles notorious corruption.

It turns out that the most broken damage sectors are public procurement, construction, including housing, maintenance of roads, health, education, science and culture.

From this list at first, becomes somehow not on itself: and in General we have at least one field not infected by this disgusting phenomenon? What are some other industries where the degree of damage of diseased organs is at a relatively low level?

It is clear that if any industry does not exist, and corruption there. But as we have quite extensive areas, regularly delivering mind blowing facts in a summary of crime news. For example, the space which the interior Ministry found that foraged there for personal enrichment, not only the builders of the cosmodrome “East”, and with much more reason have the right to call themselves conquerors of the Universe.

Investigators found that NPO Lavochkin scientific-technical cooperation has reached such a level that the theft can be classified not only according to the usual industry articles of the Criminal code, but also on the grounds of organizing a criminal group. Then the accusations of scientists in the appropriation of almost 200 million rubles by a fictitious studies probably can be attributed to corrupt practices in the execution of the state order.

Otherwise, it is not clear how the report of the Ministry of interior, these symptoms were grouped by industry. In principle, the procurement for state and municipal needs, a separate entry and cover practically all the rest of the industry. And what about, for example, with the banking industry, where no order, where there are market principles and the paid service is not from the state pocket?

The feeling that most of the most high-profile and large-scale scandals of recent years have been precisely in this sphere. Among the banks, “lit” lately, which understands not only the Bank but also investigating authorities, for example, the number of “Volga-credit Bank”, where some of the bills stole more than 130 million rubles, and in General, the account was in the billions. About twenty banks were involved in a criminal group for the illegal withdrawal of funds and their output abroad in the so-called Moldavian scheme. Here already amounted to tens of billions of dollars.

And in the freshest of history with the arrest of the Colonel of the interior Ministry Zakharchenko, who set a record for cash that you can withdraw during the arrest, the law enforcers like tie discovered 8 billion rubles with a much larger loss in Nota-Bank.

We can only guess: that there are areas in the analysis of the Ministry of interior deliberately or accidentally missed, or do all these multi-billion dollar amounts of the thefts are not comparable with the achievements of the named leaders of the corruption rating.

On the other hand, it is not surprising that in the list of the most corrupt sectors we have got medicine or education. Because the Ministerial reformers of the last years was to aggressively introduce the principle of “service for service”. So is it any wonder the results achieved.

If you look at the dictionaries of the Russian language over the last hundred years or so, and there we find the phrase “educational services” or “medical service”. Medicine has always been associated with the sick, and education — with education of a new generation. And I would like to thank the new Minister of education Olga Vasilyeva, which is one of his first orders forbade say in schools the word “service”.

Maybe the Ministry of internal Affairs will eventually thank her, adjusting his list.

Simon Semyonitch


The prose of life


Tired of wandering through the maze of the shopping Mall “Infinite”, Grushin decided to relax a bit. Stopped near the cabin of the “Urgent photo” and pretended that admires the masterpieces of photography. But to admire had long. From the cabin came neatly trimmed young man with black mustaches:

— Come in, dear! Five minutes and you will have a great photo! — he invited Grushina. — What do you want? Passport photos, visa, ID?

— Sorry, but I’m somehow not ready, declined Grushin.

— Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today! — kindly continued the photographer. Do you want to take black and white photos for your portfolio, you want a chic portrait for social networking? Any your imagination is instantly transformed into a unique photo.

Yeah I feel bad I look! — fought Grushin.

— You look lovely! Women will be crazy about you!

— You think so? I’m too shy to even smile because of missing two upper teeth…

Teeth paste! In photoshop! How much you need and paste!

— And what about the pimple near nose?

— Satanium!

— I still have a scar near the right eyebrow…

— Saratogian!

— Friends say I Shine in the eyes is not enough

— Make adjustments so that the eyes will Shine like the may sun!

And bags under the eyes can remove?

Please remove!

— Hair add?

— Add! You just don’t worry, photoshop works wonders! I a lady Balzac age so photoshopped that she’s thirty years took off! Are you a youth who wanted to be like?

— Pavel Korchagin…

— I’m not a book character mean, and movie stars!

— In his youth? Mikhail Boyarsky…

— So you now look like him!

— You flatter me!

— The Spitting Image Of Mikhail Sergeyevich!

Five minutes later the photographer was ready the:

— That’ll be three hundred rubles.

But I’m not, and people’s artist of Russia Mikhail Boyarsky! — looking at photo, sad Grushin.

— I told you that photoshop works wonders, is removing the money, smiled the wizard. — And you would not believe! Frame to your photo!

Oleg Gomozov


Leading — Ganguli of GVILAVA, E-mail: satira@mk.ru


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