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Monday, October 24, 2016

Holiday romance with taste and without STDs

Artists love to write, and some of them are very successful in literary pieces. Leonid Filatov was an amazing poet, Sergei Yursky writes plays that get life on the stage (though he acts under a pseudonym). Vladimir Kachan writes an ironic song, not lacking in subtle lyrical tone, and the same story about the actor’s life. Currently completing a book, “the Applause after…”, which he conceived as a prose continuation of the famous TV program of Leonid Filatov “To remember”. But his story is not forgotten colleagues, and those who find it difficult or even impossible to forget, my friends. They’re gone, but for him they are, as yesterday, is still alive. The author kindly provided us excerpts from her new book.

With Arkady By Arkanova. Photo: courtesy of the press service of the actor

Lev Durov</strong>

The one who said that perpetual motion is impossible, do not know or are not familiar with the actor Lev Durov. I deliberately do not list here of titles and ranks for two reasons. The first is that it is for me, oddly enough, just Lev, and almost from the second week of Dating, and the age difference and the situation then it never stopped. The second reason Durova is it just on the drum. The weight of his regalia at him, to put it mildly, no pressure, it is difficult perpetual motion to go smoothly and majestically and call themselves slowly and for a long time: Lev Konstantinovich; Lev, Yes all here. It does not humiliate him, I would say more — that it is.

I had a anniversary and a benefit in my theater “School of modern play”. First came Lev Durov with my co-author on the permanent skit at the Theatre on Malaya Bronnaya, Hero Martyniuk. And Durov read the following lyrical quatrain: Cold spring, well and well. / Stand up straight, like an old man and jump like a boy. / And don’t forget, of course, about love. / Kachan is too stumpy”. The keyword “cabbage stalk” Durov said to myself, sad and slightly ashamed. The laughter was terrible, though, if it said someone else wouldn’t have worked. But, again, how he is doing — will compensate for all.

About cobs is that! At the recent same anniversary benefit performance filosova amidst a chorus of praises and intelligent room”, came to the microphone and told the story about how during his youth the entire male population of Moscow wore velour hats. And here it is finally also decided afford to buy. With his wife Ira (or the then bride), he went to the store in the passage of the Art theatre and began to try on these hats, with emphasis on green, the most fashionable. When he once green hat spun before the mirror, Ira mused: “baby girl, you know what you remind me now?” “What?” — cringed. “Shit under the burdock,” came the answer, and since then, ” the hat does not fit, he avoids them. If you could hear how happy the intelligentsia in the audience. And I stood there in horror thinking: what does the anniversary filosova how it will turn?.. Twisted! He said, “I congratulate you, Alex, not only jubilee, but with the fact that about you no one can not say”.

This shocking, of course, comes from Lefortovo, from his childhood almost thieves. He says childhood, I begin to understand that all happened contrary. Biography did a strange zigzag, and instead become a leader Lefortovo lads (all normal thieves one nickname, Durov had three — Svejk, Gray and Actor), instead have behind at least three separate raids, and on foot — a tattoo of a type of the “750 days without a female affection”, instead of all this he became a favorite of millions of viewers and decent family man. I have not seen people who would like it, adored the house, wife, children, then grandchildren. Durov clan, which I am pleased to see is a monolith, in comparison with which any Sicilian looks like a pile of dead jellyfish washed ashore yesterday at a temperature of +40°.

Lev Durov and Vladimir Kachan. Photo: courtesy of the press service of the actor

Durov always says that the little man is the winner. It must be true, because somehow you need to compensate for what nature didn’t. What you can win beautiful and high? Only talent and ability to work. And yet — the things that, in fact, distinguish man from man, defined only by sex. Well, who else, tell me, barely dragging myself clear from a severe stroke, a month will go on shooting, because the band you see, idle without it; and a month later already again will play the risky role of Sancho to the theater is no longer canceled performances? Yes, almost no one a bad singer.

Or a story about the barking cow, which the hostess supposedly kept in chains and fed moonshine as long as the cow will not be reborn in watchdog?.. I guess in the village are crazy, that precious brew will give to the cow, would be absurd. But the actor vehemently insists that it’s true. And there are stories in abundance, but he says them is so fun and contagious that people are laughter. To believe in this case not necessarily, you can just be grateful for the pleasure.

Arkady Arkanov

I don’t know why he was nicknamed Arkan and why it had a name. Meanings of the name didn’t have any. It happens that a person acquires a nickname for some distinctive trait of character or appearance. For example, Husky or a Sledgehammer. And the harness — most likely, a shortened version of the name, although the arcane here is the alias and is. While loud, catchy, I would even say that poster! Arkady Arkanov! For a name consonant with the name, one would assume some pop entertainer… But the harness is in any case not like a entertainer, and was like a member of the house of lords of the British Parliament. And demeanor too. I rarely saw him smiling and laughing. When you told someone definitely funny anecdote or story Arkan sluggishly uttered, or rather, visiual of the fixed mouth one word, “ridiculous!”.

In addition to short stories, miniatures, plays the lasso is one piece of large format, the story, which featured a single homegrown poet, absolutely unscrupulous type who compose as Vasisualy Lokhankin in Ilf and Petrov, poems on any subject, but still specializiruetsya for the most part on the topic of Patriotic. In particular, it is absolutely incredible poems entitled “Dove of peace”. All will not quote, but what I remember is enough for an unforgettable experience.

Photo: courtesy of the press service of the actor

Some of these people in the West seeks

We live as we should in the way.

But we are simple people, birds,

And we always want to fly.

We have also dove of peace!

He is brave, courageous and strong.

And to fight the enemies of peace

We, PPE, send.

Now this poet in the story was invited to a home concert for modest money. He accepted the invitation and went…

But in real life it happened to me and Arkady. And it was so… One morning I was called and very politely suggested that today the artists called the word “corporate”. Polite caller to not immediately run into a refusal, told that the concert, my performance can not be called, because everything will be in the apartment for several people. The caller is assured that all will be extremely friendly and intelligent, no boorishness. Machine, of course, a foreign car, will bring, wait and drive back. Will pay 50 rubles. Finally, and most importantly: I’m not one, and with the writer, Arcanum, he was half an hour read, and I’m going to sing the same. The last argument radically changed my attitude to the dubious offer. Together, especially with the Lasso, not so scary and uncomfortable, and 50 rubles is nothing to sneeze at, especially since it is half my monthly salary at the theater.

On the appointed day and hour has come of the promised car. “The car “Volvo” not at all coming, I thought then soothing vanity, especially as the driver got out, walked around the car, opened the back door and invited me into the cabin. After this ceremonial landing, the car drove by Arkanova. He came out the same ritual of planting, and we started.

The apartment was somewhere in the South-West, and entryway with carpet, Concierge and modern sterile clean lift. The door was opened by welcoming the young people who helped us to remove outer clothing and was carried into the room-salon. Well, just a Versailles! In a large room near the wall stood a coffee table, on it microphone for recording on the tape, who was standing right there, next on the elegant stool. Still on the table stood an open bottle of French brandy, a saucer with nuts, two glasses of orange juice and another saucer with sliced lemon. Pusateri and two glasses of cognac. Okay, everything is provided! As soon as we sat down, someone from the owners filled a third of our cognac glassware. To drink and even to take a SIP, we refused, saying that before the show — gram. Looked around. In front of our coffee table in soft armchairs and on the sofa is situated a group of four pairs of young people — boys and girls, and two girls, no boys. Why were they without a pair will become clear later. By the way, on the way the driver explained that we were going to visit the children of senior officials and Ministers. Maybe education and was due to their demeanor and to communicate.

Well, started… the First was made by Arcana. He read some of his stories and gave the floor to me. I have calmed down a bit, as I saw it: the audience reacts to the stories of the harness correctly and intelligently. Laughs exactly where necessary and not where not necessary laughs. The harness is also a little relaxed and even took a SIP of her brandy. Then I sang 5-6 pieces of his songs, and again passed the baton to writer. Now I took a SIP from my glass. Again, twenty minutes to read a Noose, and completed our “concert” I have five songs. Everything was written on tape. The final. Came up to us, warmly thanked, we had a few drinks with the owners and began to gather. For some time we were persuaded to stay together and to spend the rest of the evening, but we were firm in their intention to leave. It was understandable. We felt some degree of “lackeys” — albeit for an hour — a normal offspring of wealthy people from the Soviet secular society. And is still trying to keep a distance and not to approach.

In the hallway we began to put on their coats, and then came those “extra” without steam, girls. And also began to persuade to stay. It became clear who they were designed this evening. Girls, I must say, that was necessary! Both are long, some silver flowing dresses, flattering. And the figure was perfect. And anyway, by today’s standards the girls were models on the European level. And face, of course… Pretty, charming girls who would not like to offend with a refusal in response to their voices: “Boys, where are you off to so early? Why are you so hurry? We could very well relax, drink, dance…” In the meaning of these words was difficult to doubt, especially accompanied by all the direct cunning and Flirty looks promising subsequently an incredible pleasure and unforgettable sex.

Gathering his last remnants of self-esteem, we refused, firmly aware of the fact that then, perhaps, you strongly regret it. Girls who have been denied the first and probably last time in my life, shrugged and went back to the apartment. The guy, apparently the owner of this apartment, smiling, handed us envelopes with money, reminded that our car is waiting for us downstairs and said finally: “Sorry…”

The door behind us slammed shut. On the landing before the door we stood in silence. Arkan pulled from his pocket a pack of cigarettes, slowly pulled one slowly pulled out a lighter and lit it slowly. Then he rolled at me, his myopic eyes, inhaled and said: “We are for the money… wanted!” We got in the car, and without a word went to restaurant TSDL, which dissipated safely in our housing fee, the Bay vodka our imaginary acting a humiliation may be real, and was not at all…


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