Of course, I remember August 19, 1991. Not yet in nature and no cell phones nor the Internet. Only trehproudnyi radio in the kitchen. It’s a loud, low, but somehow tired (not enough sleep?) voice reports: Gorbachev on vacation and treatment in the Crimea, began the duties of President of the USSR janaev.
It is clear that the kind of garbage.
Go to work — in the design office of Goskomprirody of the RSFSR. Come to ten in the morning. Actually, the work day officially started at eight. But postseparation years, came loose and began to come as God put per capita. Boss is not worried: do your job, and the schedule and let it be free.
But that day everything was different. At the entrance is the first head of the Department D. It too a couple of years not seen, thought, or resigned, or something worse. But no — here is how live. Again it was his time. Menacingly asks me how I dared to be late for two hours, and enters into some kind of black list.
The feeling of garbage increases.
In the hallway encounter mechanics Alex P. He’s always drunk around the clock, that does not prevent him to do his job. Huge palm Alex with the drunk rolling laughter slaps my puny (I weighed 30 pounds less than now) the shoulder:
— Well, blah, an old man, I regret not having stayed in France?
And I did in 1990 that was pretty long (by those standards) in France. How to end the visa was returned. Thoughts about emigration never happened. After all, history happened here, we have, in Russian.
But to meet my favorite person to talk to, Chairman of the Union of P. a Staunch Democrat. Likes of Yeltsin and Gorbachev despised. In the Smoking room with him how many times to wash the bones of the Federal authorities, incompetent and irresponsible!
What it is is I’m running a youthful tantrum. — A guard, a nightmare, a disaster!
P., I think, in response, behaves weird.
— Wait, buddy. What a nightmare, what is a disaster? All right. I assure you. With Yeltsin agreed. Nazarbayev, I think, fully supports. Don’t panic. Well, we’ll wait a bit in case of emergency, be done with it? Still the country would otherwise not hold. I advise you: the language is not particularly cheshi. More modest, more modest. You’re young, the hard times did not catch. So…
Oh, what a disappointment for a twenty-year-old kid! Fifty years of steward-minded corny got cold feet. Became a collaborator.
No need to do something. What?
Out of office — that under the new conditions, it seems, was not entirely conventional — take a walk around the nearby pond. On lampposts — no, not yet supporters of Russian democracy, but only of the proclamation of the emergency Committee of the USSR. Begin to read. And something indecent language to me asking ©. It turns out that, among other things, it is urgent to harvest and no one. Therefore it is necessary immediately to equip all intellectuals, technical and humanitarian, in the village. In full force.
Hi, come. I started to forget about the collective farms and vegetable warehouses. What, again?
But a few hours ago we still hoped that the USSR, even getting rid of the 6 republics, will become a normal country. What is normal — nobody understood. Normal. . And they have also submitted a few. I was introduced through a trip to France. I remember on the first day then went to the Louvre. Big impression. But the principal was not the Louvre. And there is a supermarket in one of the southern districts of Paris. The main Museum of the world is somehow darkened and faded into the background of a sacral object of trade. I stopped in the center of the store and five minutes with an open mouth could not move. As I understand it, and the supermarket was, by modern standards, inferior. But I never saw 27 varieties of cheese in the company of fresh nectarines, shaped stunned. What we have is ever going to be?
19.08.1991: no, it won’t. Complete garbage took a complete, internally consistent character. Life ends before it began.
But hope dies last. Or rather, never die, even after the end. I found an extensive company and went to the White house.
21 August, when the coup had failed, was for me the happiest day. And still, probably. The rush of emotions was worse than first love. And not the first too.
Well — “as the years went by river waves faster” ©. Now in intelligent environments, more and more customary to say that the emergency Committee of the USSR did not lost and even won. Just not immediately. In adjourned games. On completing.
This, in my opinion, not so.
1. Why not.
The putsch was a bunch of older idealists who really wanted to preserve the Soviet Union and the Soviet government. Naively believing that the referendum in March 1991, when the majority of the country supported the Union, giving them a reason to act and succeed. They did not understand that the active part of society, even if not so numerous in the fateful moments of history are more important than a great passive. The aesthetic of revolution is not less important than its military component — type leaflet “everyone in the village a mile smelled sadness the death camp past. Finally, they were ready to shoot. And without such a willingness — even if implicit — coup in Russia will not. Their dreams have not come true. Almost all of them — except still flashing on the front of the stage 91-year-old Marshal Dmitry Yazov — left alone, almost forgotten. But this Marshal Yazov, according to the apocryphal story, told at a crucial moment in his extraordinary companions: with such b…mi like you, even a coup will not do!
By the way, over the years more and more popularized version of key informal member of the conspiracy was Mikhail Gorbachev. Say, then deadlocked talks with the West about big financial assistance. It was necessary to scare dear partners, a sign of the restoration of totalitarianism. Then suddenly M. S. victorious, full of flowers returns to the Kremlin, and there is nowhere to go West for the miraculous salvation of mankind you have to pay.
Don’t know what is the truth in this doctrine. But remember that the “civilized world” was scared geochemists seriously. Many newest, the freshest, the leaders — from václav Havel to Zviad Gamsakhurdia — were quick to make it clear that the Kremlin’s new power, if it is in a quiet place to lean against a warm wall, it is currently possible to work.
Only that Boris Yeltsin did not want to. And climbed on the tank. Contrary to the opinion of my then-shop steward Clause And would not have climbed — who knows how it would went. The Lord God knows.
2. Why is it so.
Because of our illusion that we’ll be in 5-10 years a full-fledged European country, vanished like the ashes of the Hindus in the Himalayan mountains.
Then there was the shooting of the Supreme Council, the dubious elections of 1996, the oligarchs, the corruption, the collapse of the elections, the beheading of a free media. That just was not there.
But the main thing — not on the external side of the facade. And inside us. We have remained the same, totalitarian people. And therefore are unable to do a full panel of eurodemocracy.
What we now like to say? What the weak strong, Gorbachev and Yeltsin gave us freedom, and then Putin, the great and terrible, pick her up? But don’t think the question itself is somewhat absurd? Does freedom give you? Her own take. “Only that is worthy lives and freedom who each day goes to fight” ©. We still sincerely believe that the state should we all give, and therefore remain powerless servants of the state. Don’t we build power, and it is us. We have, as before, the shower has no proper conception of the citizen. As a political entity making a state for themselves. The very statement that all the fault is in the good or in the bad sense of the word — leader, eliminates the possibility of a European understanding of politics, history and his own destiny. Here we laugh when podkremlevskie propagandists blame for our troubles Barack Obama. And yourself? Is not inclined to criticize Obama that he has not led Russia to democracy? He did not want to fight with Moscow for the sake of satisfying our delicate feelings?
So what are we complaining about?
Here is total consciousness. Which is inherent to us a thousand years and from which even we are not going to be healed. This consciousness is the backbone of any authoritarianism of any dictatorship, worse than the subjective will of any of the boyars, kings, chiefs. Total consciousness is when the “good” and “your” are synonyms. As well as “poor and alien”. Full of non-discrimination of nuances. Confusion between “opponent” and “enemy”. The reaction to any criticism as hostile, often — selfish operation. We curse the government for informal “the alien — law?”. And did not exactly think so, powerless in the narrow space of our narrow-minded little world?
The coup had won, because haven’t gone anywhere. Out of our brains and hearts. Emergency Committee — is we. And to win we must first ourselves.
25 years were not in vain. Illusions is almost there. And the position of watchman in the cemetery of our illusions — not paying, but honorable.
And — quite promising.