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Sunday, March 18, 2018

Behind the scenes of the summer the state Duma: deputies are piles of mysterious boxes

In the State Duma now — peace and quiet. Some elected officials have broken up with crucible of power for the next five years, the other sped away on a holiday with the firm intention to return to their seats.

“Is there life in the state Duma in the summer?” — ask us a question. And got a reply after a day in the building at Okhotny Ryad.

photo: Elena Milczanowski

Work in the Duma is always fun.

The path to the new building of the Duma many of its “inmates” is not through the main entrance, opposite the Kremlin, and through the entrance 10, in St. George’s lane. Through it allowed everyone, not only deputies, their official aides due to budget (by law it should be up to 5 people), as well as informal helpers working voluntarily (each to 40). There you can meet “walkers” from the people there to call the courier…

Place democratic, and the MPs themselves come in through the “top ten,” or, as admitted, almost embarrassed, one of them, just the top ten.”

In the morning at “dozens of” crush, and standing outside of the FSO queue for the passport control man at fifteen. But this is clearly not the deputies: servants of the people do not stand in the queue for verification of documents. They are out of turn, showing your ID, and generally are usually at least two queues at the entrance: one for those who came one-time pass, the other for the staff, helpers and permanently accredited journalists.

Most dressed equally business-like: t-shirts instead of shirts, dark jeans instead of trousers, and one man with an impressive portfolio Flirty shorts. Feseoshnik wasn’t looking at the dress code and strictly according to instructions documents. It’s the tenth of the entrance stood a man. He did not attach to the queue, and waited for the Deputy. But got his assistant. The man, seeing her, without unnecessary emotions gave her ten boxes, resembling those in which the pizzeria. “This is not she, she is useless, all the deputies,” winked the man and ran on to deliver their boxes. The secret of their content we must solve, and yet — hurry up inside.

Sweeping scratch their noses

The foyer of the Parliament buildings made in the style of a strong Soviet DK — solid light wood, marble columns, crystal chandelier, mirror… Is the watchman — the frame and sash of examination like at the airport.

The hall is spacious, and between the Desk and a cloakroom corner formed by the volume of the Cabinet.

In the spring there is mounted a soccer ball (from the mirrors, that they love them) the size of our pain from infamous performance at Euro 2016, that is huge, several hundred pounds. In any gate so the ball will not fly, but he doesn’t need the ball counts down the time remaining until the world Cup, of course.

photo: Elena Milczanowski
Just a few destyakov meters from the state Duma, Manezhnaya square, established the official countdown clock of the home world Cup, but deputies wanted to have and once your own.

It is unclear why this ball deputies are needed if only a five minute walk (!) the state Duma, Manezhnaya square, have exactly the same countdown clock, only official, in a big way, including with the participation of deputies — unveiled in September last year. Maybe the Duma watches have the strategic effect of a talisman from depriving us of the rights to host the world Cup?

Dinner time on such clock is not defined, but it as such and no dining room is open from morning to evening and is located in the same stairwell.

Leading into the dining hallway is now decorated with a photo exhibition. Gallery is purely family, I would say, intimate nature. Here the Deputy-wife in the photo feeds of her husband with a spoon the pink cake, and the Deputy-the husband answers her with a piece of cake colored blue. Here is a photo of the Deputy, cheerfully floating in the pool, MP, confidently raising small gantelki, MP, playing the piano, on top of which sits a cat… it is strange that they still have time to make laws. Then came the pictures of people’s deputies on a Bicycle, a motorcycle, a helicopter on that one salary was enough.

A photo of the speaker modestly began already at the sixth stand, but he took several rows, so rich he had the life: he that only, judging by the photos, this convocation was not doing even a girl at the ball danced.

photo: Elena Milczanowski
Photo exhibition in the state Duma aims to show that between MPs of different parties happen not only debate, but also love.

After was a series of pictures from the courtroom. Her councilors were not in the process of discussion of draft laws, and a selection of funny grimaces. Here’s the highest MP of the sixth convocation of the mimics is low, so elected officials boast about the gadgets and wide scratching their noses… did Not work, and a lot of fun. And, no — the important part of the exhibition “members at work” also exists, Yes it starts poorly — at the turn into the dining room. An hour spent in the hallway outside the cafeteria, I didn’t see a single person who would come to the end of the exhibition, and then returned to the door of the catering.

Rebellion rebellion coffee and cabbage

In the canteen busy. First today gave pickle in Suzdal Turkey, soup milk cheese. The second — paprikash beef, chicken fillet, baked under creamy cheese sauce, chicken minced pork with Turkey, scrambled eggs with green peas, and liver fried with the fries. Only under free meant not potatoes and onions, or rather, the mysterious “onion”. And a lot more delicious and healthy was on the menu tonight, and it cost a little cheaper than the regular coffee in the city center.

photo: Elena Milczanowski
The deputies wonder why genuine Ukrainian Salo recently began to call pork.

It just seems that we are all on leave — said my neighbor at the table, cracking down on hake fillet poached (expensive dish for 169 rubles, as dietary). — Work in the summer more than in season bills — elections on a nose! Here they are: deputies are working, and here, inside, responsible party comrades are in control of how they get it, the records go back. Well, the other paper work is in full swing.

Read the material about the unprecedented long vacation of deputies “Russia for four months, will remain without of the state Duma

But not one bureaucracy alive in the summer the state Duma: one party in the face of three of its members held in the building of the squad from day camp and campaigned scholars in Moscow, without leaving the region.

And that the kids most in your party are interested in? — I sat down at a table to one of the rest of the campaign.

— Oh I don’t know, I only packages with gifts were presented, ” said he. — We have good gifts: Notepad, pen, cap and calendar. However, six months have passed, but not to throw out the calendars — the budget for them spent! I think children of this for campaigning enough.

— And you are that worried about? Elections, perhaps?

— Braised cabbage stopped about a month ago to prepare, ” he said seriously. Two of his comrades, hearing about the cabbage, immediately revived:

– Yes, cook sausage and cabbage stew, as in Germany, aren’t served! — added party members. — I do not know what is the reason, but certainly not with the sanctions — how can we build relationships…

Lately, though, I’ll tell you a secret, many strange things going on here: on black bread with bacon write that it is “pork sandwich peasant”, though it is naturally the Ukrainian fat, even the chef will tell you. I do not know what is the reason… even include air conditioning to full power, causing you to eat faster must. It’s like hell, but hell is the opposite of ice! You from MK? A good newspaper! Write, please, about the cabbage — you’ll see, will return to the menu!

Read the story “the Deputy Hinstein posted immodest pictures “the chef’s Council”

Whatever the topic I raised, the conversation with the agitators came down to the cabbage (well, at least the stew, not cash), and I sat at the next table. Man there drinking tea, so I have to keep him unobtrusive company, decided to take coffee.

— You’re a brave girl, ” he winked. It turned out that the coffee here is all too difficult: the main canteen, called them Green, it is still imported only soluble (a disgrace!). The deputies began to protest, and things went better than cabbage: now, go… and coffee capsules. After payment it is necessary to lower yourself to the machine, but it is not all. So, suggested to me a man, coffee to drink all go to the buffet on the floor below: there is more, but not miss — the barmaid she will make it.

There, in the bottom cupboard, poured his balms. For 279 rubles for 250 ml of MPs, according to an announcement on the wall, were served out of turn, but they still stood behind balm with simple assistants — whether out of solidarity or to those then they better helped. In any case, such a democracy was happy. After such libations not to make the dance?

— Do you have in the state Duma a place where you can retire? — I stuck to one of the afflicted.

— Yes, — he whispered and took me, judging by how long we were walking from one building to another… Here it is…

It was a Smoking room, and it was so smoky that I instantly sobered up, and the balm was soft.

– There is nowhere else for us here to retire! — he exclaimed, with bitterness. 13 years ago, a crazy secretly snuck into the building, climbed onto the roof and planted there the flag of one of the parties. On 7 November it was. He was beaten, the guards all fired, and we were deprived of romance: in the offices now motion sensors, after 10 PM is lights out. So I don’t know where our lovebirds did their sectarian child (an allusion to the marriage is known to deputies from different factions, recently became parents. — Approx. ed.), but certainly not in the state Duma. Although if they have special permits for night work…

The sad story we came out of the Smoking room, and I noticed her strange entrance sign: the crossed-out cigarette. No Smoking in the Smoking room?

— Do not smoke on the way, and that all such business that lit up early, ” he explained.

You worried about something?

— It is unclear how we will live from September to December — threw up he hands.

— How are we going to live?

— But the fact of the matter is, it is not clear how, ” he repeated. — See for yourself: new members will be chosen in September, and the old powers expire in December. It turns out the imposition of convocation and of deputies. Will those, who did not choose in September to work until December? But most importantly — will they pay? And those who will choose in September whether they will get a double salary until December?

— For that double?!

Well, it turns out, those who do not choose, will pay, and they will no longer work, then working a double salary!

— You what, still not explained how from September to December?

— I don’t know, and explained, I guess I missed the meeting, — he remembered. Yeah what I mean — those who will choose, and so long known about it And those who do not choose also long been aware of this, but as Olympians, still hoping…

“MK” repeatedly wrote to the deputies, who not isseroda nowhere — neither in thought, nor in the region — will pay the salaries and maintain benefits until 4 December. No double wages to those who are elect to the Duma again, is not necessary.

Which party is more dirt?

Several times in the corridor I caught the eye of the young man with the cartridges. If the first time it was rather slow, second time is noticeably accelerated, and the third skipping. I remembered that in the same program traveled by numerous visitors of the House of peoples, where Bender was demanding to refute the article about the famous accident with the horse.

photo: Elena Milczanowski
In these packages for employees Duma carefully Packed several packs with straps.

— Wow, how many they print, don’t have time to change, ” said cartridgecase, running from one office to another. — Early black and white ordered, now on colored hooked.

While some change the cartridge, others did General cleaning of all major party offices. And if the flow rate of cartridges preferences deputies to give was not possible (all are printed in batches), the workers of the bucket and rags in your choice is already made.

— Very dirty room — the leader of the party, which… well, the most noisy and weird — revealed they all, as in actipole. — But washing it is easy. Here’s another lot of trouble. This is the office of a man of the old school, and the presidency, I remember twenty years ago was nominated. Well, it is impossible to clean carpets and everywhere, and with them of fuss! And he is no carpets it can not, the symbol of the era, and slip on the bare floor. But the party, which is the most numerous we have, there’s no carpet and we only MOP a walk, and no vacuuming for three hours…

Due to this the Deputy, whose office the dirty, gossiped to me one assistant, the state Duma is written to pass these crazy.

— Each Deputy or assistant may day to issue a pass to 24 visitors, and nobody checks where they actually go, ” she explained. “Before, there were leaves, where the Deputy signed it that the truth came to him, now take the card and walk where you want Here and enjoy: written to one, and go to my… Shout, attacking with different intentions. To call security sometimes it comes…

Frightened: a sudden and now the building is roam 24 people from each MP? And it is unclear what they have in mind — certainly not thinking about the braised cabbage. I zasobiralis to the exit; in addition to 6 p.m., the reserves of the Green dining room and the bottom of the cupboard were scanty (some cakes were sold out boxes), and the Golden hall (the parliamentary dining room-restaurant) were tightly closed — for repairs.

And no one in his office was not eating at this time of night pizza from the boxes that were brought in the morning by courier. Because inside was not a pizza… and belts.

— Deputies in summer, the hype on leather straps rather weird, book through assistants 20-30 boxes, explained to me by courier this morning. — Take without looking, without trying, and then some just doesn’t add up, and cause me to change, so tonight, maybe we’ll meet again…

Sanctions . Chronicle of events

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