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Wednesday, March 14, 2018

In the same ranks коммерсантOFF

Did you notice that in Russian people there is one amazing trait: we all love to walk in the ranks? No, not in the army, but in General — I mean together, in step, in one direction, and most importantly — to look the same to be. This relates to fashion, of course — not without reason in the USSR as soon as blown boots appeared (Shoe covers they were called), so once the feet of all passers-by smashed, in the subway, remember, not overcrowded. And coats, men’s fur coats faux fur? Remember — black, brown? All Russia was covered with fur, brutalized, just the men, the other still wears. Well, the Soviet Union, there is a choice-it was time-two and miscalculated, and now? It would seem that brands — the sea of junk on the shelves — the ocean… what? Moscow still polls in the checkered scarves from this company, I can’t remember her… Well, you understand. But most of all I was surprised by our men. If they exceed fifty dollars (or even for 45!), as for some reason they no longer wear jackets and pullovers. They go to the market and buy some incredible things, which even I describe and you will find it difficult. It is certain grey vests made of canvas or something similar, with lots of pockets, some zippers, buckles and buttons. Wearing their men and go all summer in Moscow is not how fishermen, not hunters! Again, EN masse — one might think that the question of a uniform for fighters of wildlife… However, I’m not about that.

I have long been interested in some of the Russian brands… in Fact, not the products of these brands, and they themselves, that is their names. You didn’t pay attention that the market is literally littered with brands that look like the names of the owners (manufacturers), and actually reflects the appearance, the essence and the quality of the product? I could be wrong, but I think the first on this path stepped firm Nestle, invented the name Kashi. The counters are stepped one “Bystrov” — fun brunette with a smile operetta villain in a white chef’s hat, the Ice was broken. I must confess that I myself thought was: wow, what an appropriate name from the manufacturer kas! But then began a… the Impression was that on the parade ground, the pipe began to sing the gathering and heard the command: “Russian merchants! In one line, stand at attention!” And under the regimental band, steady steps and keeping eyes on the pioneer Bystrova, in front of us walked a whole platoon of brave characters, invented as a result of office brainstorming. To this day they are marching, and the marching process of inventing new marketing ideas… Although, actually, the move-something invented only one. But what! Oh, this is epochal. I’m not kidding; I am sure that the beginning of the twenty-first in Russia, will go down in history as truly unique brands. What conditions must satisfy a brand to join the unified system? Here they are, these requirements.

1. The brand needs to look like a typical Russian name and end in “ov” or “EV”.

2. From the name of the brand should be immediately clear what type of products he represents. For example, mustard “Adrenal” or “Gorkov” coats “Pushistov”, refrigerators “frost” or another widely known and constantly in demand products under the name of “Prochnow” or “Rubber”.

3. And finally, at the end of a fictitious name must stand for the Latin letter “f” or two in a row, for example, vodka “Поддатоff” or jacks “Подымалоff”.

The result in Russia has emerged and successfully operate such companies as “Сладкоff”, “Тортоff”, “Мясноff”, “Колбасоff”, “Грузовичкоff”, “Джинсоff” and many others, the whole list would take a whole page.

“Peasant bull; vtemyashit head off some whim — stake ottudova its not gonna blow…” — said Nekrasov. And I think that’s maybe enough to build something to walk? Not in the army tea. Is it not enough Russian businessmen imagination to come up with their businesses different names? That is quite the other, as they say, Opera? No — change, of course, not necessary, I’m talking about firms that are now or will be created. Why not call a firm that produces confectionaries, for example, the “Chocolate king” or “Royal cake”? And the level of production immediately understandable — high, they say, or the coolest in your theme, or even for Royal personages do. Why not call a firm that sews jeans, “Western” or “cowboy”? Still, the brand name should be as informative, and advertising products it is necessary to lay, and does meet such requirements of titles of the type “Мотоциклоff” or “Ботинкоff”?

After all, if the producers will continue the brave step to go in the same order, will soon appear such gems as, for example, poison for insects “Клопоff and Тараканоff,” the laxative “Поносоff” axes “Отрубалоff”, the sofas “Задремалоff” petroleum jelly “Проникалоff”. Well, if you really tugovato with imagination and no other options of names is not forthcoming, let us at least with a sense of humor to act. Even with the black humor is still fun. For example, why not call a straight razor “Pierre Безухоff”? So what — the flag in hand? Start brainstorming?

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